The Thai Smile

The Land of Smile...

Visitors are often impressed with the "Thai Smile". An American tourist once told me this is what he loved most about Thailand. The smile, the hospitality and the way guests are treated. My boss asked me once how I seemed to be happy all the time.

Haha they do not know the truth!

For most Asian cultures, manners come first. Self expression and facial expressions are bad manners. For Thais, unfortunately, not smiling is a bad manner... Not feeding your guests well is a bad manner... saying how we feel about other people is a bad manner...

That's it... I have said it!

In a mourning ceremonies guests smile their symphatethic smiles and relatives smile to thank the guests for coming. People smile to say hello, goodbye, sorry, thank you, OK and welcome. A pouting flight attendance may be reprimanded. Interviewers usually accept the biggest smilers before others. And I can still remember the time when I was spanked because I made faces and talked back when my parents disciplined me. (Oh it was in those old time when pareants spank their own kids and we were not allowed to have opinions... please don't put my parents in jail.)

Now you know... We are not smiling because we are nice people, or because we like you. We are smiling because we have to... It is the fucking manner!

Thai readers may be having a violent reaction to my statement already as this makes us sound silly. Don't worry. They will still be smiling while writing their nasty comments or beating me up the next time we meet on the street...

Thai Taboos

Taboo

OMG... Thailand is full of taboos. It is so bad that if I should list down all the taboos here, you will not want to come to Thailand anymore.

So... Let's just discuss only the three most important taboos that can get you killed...


The ROYAL FAMILY is placed highly above all...

The ROYAL FAMILY is not to be talked about. The only you can talk about them is to praise them. If you make fun of them, gossip about them, write something not so about them, even not pay proper respect to them or to the royal anthem... you'll be prosecuted... provided that no Thai people have beaten you to death yet.

Writer Harry Nicolaides jailed for insulting Thai king

Suwicha Takhor -- 10 years, no bail, for Internet comments

Da Torpedo -- 18 years, no bail, private hearing, for her aggressive speech

Swissman jailed for spray-painting on the King's portrait (while drunk)

When it comes to the King and his family, there is no excuse. The word "Thai" in Thailand means "free". Do not expect freedom of speech here... Be warned...


My Toes, My Knees, My Shoulders, My Head...

The guardian angels (or someone might say "Buddha") are on the Thai's heads. Touching someone's head, or doing things near/above the head will force the guardian angel away. Though most Thais do not believe in such things nowadays, such manners are still considered insulting.
When the head is put "high", the feet are considered the "lowest" organ. Should you point your foot to someone, or point to something with your foot, you are insulting the Thai person you are talking to. Therefore, watch your feet while sitting. Don't sit cross-legged either.

Using left hand is almost as bad because it is only used to clean yourself after the toilet. If a student raises her left hand when teacher says "raise your hand", she will be punished.


Paying It Backward...

If someone does you a favor, you are obliged to return it. Thus, parents are all Thais' god as they give us lives. It sounds nice that you take care of your parents. But some parents really take advantage of their children. They dictate the kids' lives -- where to live, who to marry, what to do, etc. If the parents need money to pay their loans (or whatever), their daughters have to go selling herself in the sex market and be praised by villagers for being "Katunyoo". I cannot even find the right term in English for the word. Does this "Katunyoo" thingie make sense to you? Not to me either....

Thais take Katunyoo seriously. Therefore, while in Thailand, think before accepting favor. If someone goes over his burden to assist you with something, he will definitely expect the same treat back.


Hope you still want to come to Thailand... The land of smile... Well... If not for the weird practices, it is really a nice place, you know...